Shorty’s Chair

“Only take care, and keep your soul diligently, lest you forget the things that your eyes have seen, and lest they depart from your heart all the days of your life. Make them known to your children and your children’s children.” Deuteronomy 4:9 ESV

It will soon be Thanksgiving and many of us will gather in homes across the country, making way for hospitality, for extras to feast with us, telling stories of the past, reminiscing, taking time to thank the Lord for family, food, and all life’s blessings past, present and future. To celebrate, we use all available chairs around our dining tables—even the less comfortable ones. I have a story about one such chair at our house.

There are a few things that tether our Jessamine County Kentucky farm with my Plasters family’s farm lying 278 miles westward near Cave Township in Franklin County, Illinois. One fact I just discovered as I researched this writing is that both farms are in the 37th Parallel North, which is referred to by some as “The Paranormal Highway.”

But the connector that prompted this telling is one that has traversed the path eastward from Illinois to Kentucky. We call it “Shorty’s Chair.” It is a plain small ladderback wooden chair with a woven seat. There is a mysterious dip in the top slat of the chair. Dad told me it is where his uncle Shorty would sit in the chair backwards, one leg on each side straddling the seat, in front of the potbellied wood stove in the old Illinois farmhouse, as Shorty’s chin (or mouth?) created that hollow top of the chair. (I have sat on it to test the theory, and it is possible.)

 

Shorty’s old chair in the Illinois farmhouse

Shorty was a lifelong bachelor and World War 1 veteran. His real name was Elmus Plasters and he cared for his mother, Malissia, my great grandmother, until her death in 1963.

Shorty’s military marker

Her tombstone says she was born in 1864 and died in 1963. We have a newspaper clipping celebrating her 100th birthday…maybe our family gets our dates mixed up sometimes :)?

The only encounter I remember with Malissia was my first recollected introduction to the Illinois farmstead. As I look at the dates, I would have only been about 3 ½ years old, but it etched a memory in me that is still present; likely because I was a bit terrified. My Dad and I entered through one of the two front doors from the front porch. The house was old and smelled strange to me. Uncle Shorty was sitting by the fire and there was a bed over in the corner of the room. On it was a lady under a lump of covers. I could discern no face, but I heard her turning back and forth. She was moaning. Dad told me later that he remembered that his grandma would moan in pain and Shorty would have to say, “Ma, we don’t have money to buy any more aspirin.” I recall the hand and presence of my father as the only discernably familiar spot in that home. I was as equally troubled by the presence of a bed in a living room as I was with the faceless moaning woman in the corner. And Shorty was strange too. From his small chair his face was nearer to my face as any grownup man that I remembered meeting. Also, his southern, nasal country talk was alien to my little toddler ears.

Malissia and Robert with their dog Nell in the side yard of the old Illinois farmhouse, likely one of them is sitting in “Shorty’s” chair

I must have said I was thirsty and I was escorted into the kitchen where there was a metal pan sitting on a wooden stool with a carved-out gourd on it. That was the “common gourd.” Everyone sipped from it like the common chalice in an Anglican communion line. I learned later that they had dipped that water from a well out back. Indeed, as I look back, it seemed like a 37th Parallel Highway moment.

Shorty lived on in the family farmhouse until the early 1970’s. When Uncle Shorty got sick and had to go to a hospital my dad arranged to buy the family farm as a summer place for us; part of the money was to help pay for Shorty’s hospital bills. Dad’s memories were there and, in the house just around the corner, and one down the street. Uncles and aunts had dotted that small area of land for years. The earliest ancestor, John Plasters, obtained the acreage in the 1850’s as payment for his service in the military. The subsequent family line had farmed the acreage until our purchase of it.

Great Grandma Malissia with her chickens at the Illinois farm

When we got the farmhouse Mom and Dad worked hard to give it a semblance of new life, but a few artifacts remained—one of them was Shorty’s chair. We summered and weekended there as a family. That chair was witness to my teenage vacations and to Christmas Eve 1977 when I brought my Mississippi boyfriend, Hule, there and he got down on his knees and proposed to me. It also stood sentry in the living room when we returned six months later to spend a portion of our honeymoon.

Renovating the Illinois farmhouse living room: Me (“Lori”) with my younger sister Marcia and little brother Eric. The corner you see is where Great Grandma Malissia’s bed was.

There came a time when that house disintegrated enough that it had to be torn down. We still have the farm, and a different house stands where it stood. My dad salvaged Shorty’s chair as one of his precious heirlooms. He brought it up to our Springfield, IL home. Dad’s dream was to live full-time in a small Thoreauesque cabin at the farm with only a fire, a chair, and one hook for his clothing. Shorty’s chair represented that never-realized dream.

My dad relaxing by the wood-stove in the Illinois farmhouse living room after the remodel

For Dad’s gift one year Mom arranged for the seat of Shorty’s chair to be re-woven because it was quite worn. Some years later, as my mom didn’t have much room for it in her house, she gifted it to me. It now sits in the modest home of our Jessamine farm. It is used mostly when extra guests come and we run out of the upholstered, more comfortable seating. But it sits there as an icon—full of symbol and meaning and memory, linking our past to our present and future on this rural landscape situated in the shared 37th Parallel North.

Shorty’s chair in our Kentucky farm living room by our wood-stove

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“I remember the days of old; I meditate on all that you have done; I ponder the work of your hands.” Psalm 143:5 ESV

 

The old Illinois farmhouse painted by my daughter Sarah Jo Goddard

Wendell Berry: I have missed him, I will miss him

Wendell Berry died this week. The internet is filled now with photos and stories of the fortunate few who made it to his front porch for a talk with him. I am told not to envy but it is hard.

January 28, 2015, a friend and I went to hear Wendell Berry lecture at the Carnegie Center in Lexington, KY. Like an introverted paparazzo I snuck a few photos.

Then it was our turn to stand in line for him to sign our books. I had two. Standing in line, as a 50 something year old woman at the time, I started to feel like how I did as a junior high girl at a rock concert encountering one of the band members.  I was sweaty, nervous, unsure of what to say, wanting to be seen, known, and acknowledged by this person I admired so much. My friend, who was a bit bolder than I, went through the line first. She pointed to me and said, “She lives downstream from you on the Kentucky River.” I’m sure my face reddened. He glanced up and replied, “Well, you always want to be friends with a neighbor living downstream from you.” … or something like that.  My rememberer had shorted out by that point. Only later did I come across this Wendell Berry quote, “Do unto those downstream as you would have those upstream do unto you.”

When I got to Mr. Berry all I could eek out was, “Is it ok if I have two books for you to sign?” He replied, “Well if I said ‘no’ my publisher wouldn’t be very happy with me.”

And, it was over.

And now I’ll give an even more embarrassing confession about myself; the me who is supposed to be mature and wise but apparently could still get carried away with teenagerly fandom. Two days after the Carnegie Center lecture my husband and I found ourselves passing near Port Royal, KY after going to a funeral.  I asked if we could go investigate the little town since we both really liked reading about Wendell Berry’s Port William.  We stopped and went inside the local hardware store and restaurant, and it felt like hallowed ground. I thought, “I’m sure Wendell Berry has walked this very aisle.” I suddenly wanted to be part of the Port Royal “membership” by buying something in the spirit of “neighborliness”, but the only thing slightly enticing me was a package of mouse traps, and I fought off the temptation. We continued our trek through the town passing by the local church and I pictured Tanya inside, maybe playing the piano while Wendell was out in the woods writing his “Sabbath” poetry.

Then, I went one step too far. I asked my husband if we could drive around to look for Wendell Berry’s home. I had seen some photos of his porch and front yard with solar panels in it. I knew he had a writing shack on the river near his home and low and behold we found it. I was giddy and embarrassed for being so “creepy” as to be doing this, yet my paparazzo nature came out again and I crouched down in the car snapping photos right and left hoping Wendell and Tanya were not peering out the window at this middle-aged groupie invading their private space.

Sometime later my husband and I traveled to The Berry Center in nearby New Castle, KY and Mr. Berry was there signing books. Again, I stood in line and was too nervous to know what to say. My husband, Hule, rarely suffers from having little to say, so he said all the words. In the conversation Wendell found out Hule was a pastor in the Wilmore, KY area and that initiated a few cordial sentences of exchange. But I was again mute, too starstruck to say or do much of anything more than just smile and take our freshly signed book from his hand.

What is it that makes us want a picture taken with someone or causes us to treasure an author’s signature in a book? It’s just ink on paper and yet it greatly increases a book’s value sentimentally and, for some books, even monetarily.

When I read Wendell Berry’s work it seemed like he was my friend, even my mentor. He reminded me so much of my dad. He was of the same era, worldview, and wise, contemplative, thoughtful temperament. Years ago when I gave Dad one of Wendell Berry’s books of agrarian essays, he thoroughly enjoyed it. He seemed awakened with interest by this author who respected the farm and rural life of my father’s upbringing and even his efforts to give proper respect to today’s rural life, agrarian people, and their communities and ways of being. It is what Dad had been trying to instill in us from the time we were little, and what he demonstrated to us with his life and reclamation of our family farm. I am grateful that in that one book exchange, before Dad faded and got to where he could read no more, Dad and Wendell Berry “met” on those pages.

I have returned to the Berry Center several times more recently hoping for a connection—a sighting, but it never happened. And now I have learned that it never will. I have missed him.

I once ordered a print of a photo by Tanya Berry that was displayed in one of the rooms at the center. It reminded me of my grandparents, their farm, and the simple life they lived.  The photograph now hangs in my kitchen and greets me daily. Sometimes I drift into daydreams of Tanya and I discussing photography and recipes.

One of the first fiction books I read by Wendell Berry was Hannah Coulter. I was astounded by the way he captured the mysterious experience of a nursing mother:

I took her into bed with me and propped myself up with pillows against the headboard to let her nurse. As she nursed and the milk came, she began a little low contented sort of singing. I would feel milk and love flowing from me to her as once it had flowed to me. It emptied me. As the baby fed, I seemed slowly to grow empty of myself, as if in the presence of that long flow of love even grief could not stand.

Wendell Berry, Hannah Coulter

I believe it was the essence of that passage that inspired me to write this poem:

I Am Mother

I lie down and surrender to love and risk.

Protection withdrawn, my womb opens to receive another.

My fertile bed prepared by God opens its lips to the seed.

The race is on—unpredictable and exciting—one possibility meets thousands and chooses one.

A match is made

A fire strikes

Burning and burrowing beneath the soil of blood and mystery.

I wait.  I look to stars.  I con-sider.  I lie still.  Selah

We test “waste” to know your presence.  We listen and peer in with sound waves.

I lie down once again and look to screen and risk seeing you and falling madly,

deeply,

forever in love.

I carry you around in my purse and pouch and put you on my refrigerator and marvel at the blurry, fuzzy jelly bean sized person in me,

Who is you.

I wait. I look to stars.  I con-sider.  I lie still.  Selah

I begin to pant and feel squeezing—tightness

Yes—pain

Intense—severe

I risk death with joy and moaning, for you.

You have kicked in me, punched my ribs, rolled like a bowling ball inside me. 

How I have longed to see you and touch you and now it is immanent and I am scared.

As you emerge I am born.

I am mother.

I hold you.

I wait.  I look to stars.  I con-sider.  I lie still.  Selah

I give my days and nights to you.

I give my body once again—my rest and food, vitamins and drink all churn inside me until milk comes flowing through my chest to nourish you…sustain you.

My hours are yours, my body is given—scarred, stretched, engorged.

This is my body, broken for you.  Take and eat.

You snort and grunt, draw near to suckle, your hands knead like a cat on a blanket, like a baker with his dough.

I wait.  I look to stars.  I con-sider.  We lie still.  Selah

Since my middle school days there are very few people I have wanted to meet or get to know or know me, but Wendell Berry was one. There is an admiration there. Someone who has my respect. Someone I often quote, even in this very blog. Someone from whom I believe I could have learned good things. After I read Theo of Golden several years ago, I felt the same way about the author Allen Levi. I even thought—this guy reminds me of Wendell Berry! I have yet to go stalk Mr. Levi, but I did hear myself saying to a friend, “There are very few people I’d like to meet, but two of them are Wendell Berry and Allen Levi. I would love to sit at a dinner table with them and talk to them.” Later I imagined that scene and knew I would likely be so star-struck I couldn’t even manage asking a question, let alone allow myself to speak articulately enough so as to become known. I also understand that these gifted people only have so much capacity and it seems insensitive to ask to take up a portion of their limited, valuable time.

And yet, today, I grieve. I have missed him. I will miss him. I pray for and grieve for his family and friends. I grieve the loss of my hope of becoming one of those friends and the loss of this man with so much wisdom who has now laid down his sharpened No. 2 pencil and yellow notepad.

My new book

September is the month of both my mother and father’s birthdays. I honor them with the announcement of the publication of a book I wrote about a chapter in our family’s life: My Fading Father: An End of Life journey.

Dad walking me down the aisle

This is the story of how our family lived together with Dad in his last years and our final earthly goodbye. It was compiled from diaries I wrote during this season. It is a book for all of us — caregivers, care receivers, grievers— all of us who will face our decline and death, or that of a loved one. So, the story is for everybody. Dad’s end of life journey came with cognitive decline, likely Alzheimer’s, and that presented a special challenge and opportunity for us.

Dad and I at Plasters Grove cemetery where he was laid to rest

If you know of anyone who might benefit from a book like this, please let them know about it. If you would like to order it, it is available on Amazon. https://a.co/d/7BkDQ4R

Love you, Mom & Dad….

We miss you, Dad!

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